April 18, 2009

Wiping Brow

Crrrraaaaazy stuff has been going on in my world....i dont know where to begin! My nana scared us all to death with a week long stay at the hospital. We thought she would need open heart surgery and it turned out that she was eating to much salt. Fluid was building up around her heart and damn near killed her. I told her about making popcorn with butter and salt. It was her only vice but now she cant even have that.
Then, her greedy ass kids come to visit...lurking and looming with questions in their eyes, while massaging shallow pockets as to when the reaper will pay a call. See im the oldest granddaughter out of 13 and she considers me to be her kid....well her kids hate that notion and me even more. My nana owns the three family we live in, im on the premises, see her every day and handle her business affairs, while they live their selfish, reclusive lives in their OWN homes. The idea that this house could me mine someday, has caused such angst that they dont even speak to me now. I would love to tell them all how i REALLY feel but I choose to keep the peace for my nana. I have to channel her God fearing spirit and loving heart every time i feel like pimp slappin one of her kids. My mother and I are the only ones on the same page about nanas quality of life so at least I have one person tryin to hold me down.

Anyway...now we have third floor tenants who were supposedly friends, trying to give us the business on the rent, acting all brand new about how we roll in this house. OMG the chic had the nerve to call the police on Mista...and that is a story ill have to hit yall with later cause...um...nana beckons...LOL!

Peace and love yall!

February 28, 2009

Its Time For Take Out

"This is us baby! I love you with all my heart and soul
to have and to hold, til we grow old and the earth is cold
til we can no longer be bought or sold, when the answers
to life's mysteries unfold as it has been foretold.
Your Queen consort, ally, kin
mother to the next King, faithful, obedient to you alone
at your side next to your throne, you will never be alone
from the stars to the ozone , aeon's beyond Heavens doors
in this life and the next I shall remain yours".

I meant this from the abyss of my being but every day since, Mista's bullshit has been chipping away at it! I used to think of him as my best friend, someone I can tell my secrets to...not random stuff but things that are on a need to know basis. Things about me and my family that have helped him understand who I am, where I came from and the method to my madness when I stress about certain members of my fam. Unfortunately, those very things I confide in him about are constantly used against me when we beef. For example, I picked up my son from my mom's house since he spent the night. I was to take a plate of food home for my nana so I had to wait for a while. I'm looking at the clock shaking my head cause I know my nana is a maniac if she doesnt eat on time. When I finally get there with the food she's straight pissed and I could swear I saw her foaming at the mouth a little bit. So I leave the food and back slowly out the door as I was not crazy enough to turn my back on her...lol. When I get home my mom calls to tell me that my nana called her looking for the food, snapping at her with incoherent threats and i think she said a swear. Now my nana is incredible....beautiful, intelligent...I mean you can feel the presence of God when you walk in her house but DONT GET IT TWISTED WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD!
Anyway, my mom was so hurt she started crying so I had to do damage control. After all was said and done I talked to Mista and he asked me about my day. Of course I told him and that was that. Now my son is playing a video game (strictly for hand eye coordination folks, he is no couch potato) and he asks his father to help him. Mista rolls his eyes and walks over to him with a reluctance that really pissed me off. I'm like "dude, when he's not here you can't wait to see him and when he is here you act like you dont wanna be bothered". He says "nobody is talking to you..but I guess you're gonna be ugly tonite cause your grandmother didnt get to eat on time and its your mothers fault"

((gently putting the gun back in safe mode...i dont think he heard the click))

See thats the shit right there...another example of him running with things I tell him. I really don't want a partner like this. Matter of fact I really think I should be alone now. I know my thoughts seem kind of all over the place but Mista and I have a 12 year history and we've been through all kinds of insanity. He's said and done some things that should be unforgivable but i continue to give him the benefit of the doubt, as I am hoping to cash in on his potential greatness. I know its there but my vision gets blurry when he acts like a jerk. Right now he's trying to convince my son to turn off his game (cause HE's tired of looking at it) and watch a movie. My son is a K1 student who gets homework every night, is told what to do, when to do it from 7:30 a.m. til about 5 p.m. every single day...I don't mind if he comes home to spaz out and do what he likes. ITS CALLED THE WEEKEND...DAMN!!!!

I don't know. Mista's quest seems to be about having control but what he fails to realize is that he doesn't need to TAKE control. I'm down for equal parenting, talking things through together, coming up with a solution that is beneficial to all.

I've pretty much exhausted my efforts.

The inevitable is beginning to occur....I don't feel like cooking anymore.
Peace & Love Yall

February 26, 2009

I'll Have What She's Having

My bff is an expectant mom and I want in. She doesn’t know it yet but I’m hijacking that kid. I’m definitely feeling that mommy tug again but I CANNOT afford it. The only thing that seems to stick out in my mind is the high cost of daycare at more than $500/mo….yeah fugg that! Sterilizing bottles, changing diapers, getting up hella early or late depending on how one looks at it, is something I don’t really miss. I used to wish my son would hurry up and talk, run around the house chanting my name etc. Now that he’s four I have all that and more. I miss the days of leaving him in the middle of the bed between two pillows knowing he couldn’t move even if he wanted to. The loooooooong nap times that equaled to me times....NO MORE! Now I have this little hellion walking around talking shit like he just wrote a check for the rent and put food in the fridge. He’s the love of my life but insanely demanding. My lil Ike Turner as his god-mommy so fondly refers to him. I have to put him to sleep in my bed, wait til he’s in a deep sleep, then whisk him off to his own bed. He insists that I sleep with him and if I take too long he bellows from MY bed…”Mooooooommmmmmmaaaaayyyyyyyy….COME TO BED! Its funny but its my fault that I didn’t curb this behavior from jump.

So when my girl finally has her little one, I’m gonna suck all the baby scent off, give her back and say see ya tomorrow cuz I’ve been there done that…LOL. I’m really excited for her though. She’s going to make a wonderful mother and I forgive her in advance for calling me at ungodly hours of the night to change the shitty diapers.

Peace & Love Yall!

February 25, 2009

Ex Won't Mark The Spot

Hello folks! Its been about a week or so and I’ve been caught up in someone elses drama as usual. I have to cut this shit out. I have my own issues to deal with, yet I’m always sought after for advice and opinion. I guess I should be flattered that folks feel like they can trust me with their deep, dark secrets. Funny but when I need to spaz out...I either keep it to myself, ride in my truck with my music blasting me out of the atmosphere or let it go right here, whispering to the mind, body and souls of the anonymous.


My ex hubby and I are the best of friends. How does Mista feel about this you ask? He’s cool with it because I never hid anything from him. I was actually still married to my ex when I met Mista. Unfortunately we stopped being married in the traditional sense for about two years before our divorce, I was hella lonely…he was doing his own thing and when I wasn't looking, that sweet newbie love I spoke of before swept me away.

So me and the ex were best buds even during our court date. We were the only couple in the room holding hands, flirting and choking back our laughter which made the judge ask if we were absolutely sure we wanted to get the divorce. In unison we were like “yeah”!! I got to keep my last name “cause I worked TOO hard for it…your honor” (said in my best tina “angela bassett” turner voice). Every day since then, well over ten years ago, we’ve stayed in touch. We didn’t speak EVERYDAY but we never lost touch. In that time his nephew was killed in a motorcycle accident leaving behind two children. I went to the house and the funeral to pay my respects and his family was so very kind. It was as if I never left. His girlfriend was just as gracious and welcoming but he’s mentioned to me before that she was jealous of my ghost and often feared he and I would reconcile.Never that. Once I’m done…I’m done.

Mista, my ex and I hang out a little…well the ex would come over for a drink every now and again, we’d talk for a while then call it night. I get the occasional questions from Mista…”so if you had a chance to get back would you”? Or “I can tell he still loves you”

I try not to let those inquiries bother me 'cause I STILL believe him when he says he's cool with the friendship.

My ex calls me one day to tell me he’s not happy with his current girlfriend, he’s seeing someone else on the side and he’s absolutely miserable. I gave him my opinion on all the details he gave me about the mistress, the pros and cons and the whole “don’t leave your current girl for that newbie love and its gonna end soon” speech. Of course it took something drastic on her part to make him see the light so now he has to decide if he still wants to be with his current girl. He and the current girl had a knock down drag out, she bit him on the arm after the smack that drew blood, he left and spent the night out…she drank herself into a coma, called him the next day to say “get your shit” then bawled a river to convince him to stay and NOW…………she’s in the hospital. She had an aneurysm a few years back. According to him, she smokes cigarettes, and is a heavy drinker.

The love I have for him on the friend level has me begging to tell the doctors all he knows about her condition cause she is a walking time bomb. I dread the thought of him calling me to say she has expired. I really don’t think I could take something like that. Though it would be no love loss between her and I, my heart would bleed for his loss. I think I should chill out with all my advice giving in regard to his life. After all…it is HIS life. Is it disrespectful to my man to still have this friendship with my ex, even though we are all cool? I just can’t stand to keep a secret. To have to tiptoe around with clandestine conversations is so juvenile. Perhaps I should ask the question of myself. Could I deal with my man’s ex calling, and visiting on the regular? Gotta get back to you on that one.


Have you ever broken off a romantic relationship and kept the friendship, whether you were with someone or not?

Peace & Love Yall!

February 13, 2009

I Love You

“I love you”…”I love you too baby”! Opening the black velvet box I find a pair of beautiful gold earrings. “Oh how sweet….but um….”WHERE IS MY GIANT BOX OF ACT RIGHT?” I don’t mean to come off unappreciative but unless I get what I asked for then this small token of his love (aka band-aid) is going straight to the pawn shop.
I’m not big on holidays and gift giving anyway. I was raised to believe that if you have something you want to share with someone, do it right away since tomorrow is not promised. I also feel that gift giving is not necessary for me, its all in how you treat me…make me feel.

I’m also crazy in love with the notion of love. It will conquer all things and make it mo’ betta…mix that crap with a heavy dose of cynicism and watch reality bite.

Remember newbie love when you put your best foot forward, not a hair was out of place and you wouldn’t even THINK about farting around them? The butterflies you get when you pick up the phone on the first ring, then get pissed ‘cause its not him/her. Staying up on the phone all night listening to each other breathe, falling asleep during the silence and insisting you weren’t snoring. What about the first time you said “I love you”! What a wild feeling.

Now several years later, perhaps after a few children, the love is still there but different somehow. Only folks that still love each other can tolerate the morning breath and screw face a new day brings. Not giving a shit that you farted ‘cause hell, you gotta let it out or suffer a heart attack…lol! When the phone rings now its like “WHAT…yeah yeah I’ll take out the trash…ok ok …yeah…love you too...BYE! Ahhh…love in all its splendor.

Its Valentines Day and I hope it finds you in the hearts and minds of someone you truly love and care for.

Peace yall!

February 12, 2009

Catch Me If You Can

I had a court date today for a judgement against me in the amount of $10,000. Ok let me start at the beginning. I was in an accident about five years ago. This dude ran a light and fugged my rental car up...well it was my nana's rental from an accident SHE had weeks earlier but I was driving it back to the agency for her. Dude was clearly in the wrong and it took a few years, several depositions, crying, throwin up and bleedin on the floor sometime, until I finally won the case. All that time and aggravation later I only came out with $6k...oh well, thank you Jesus and im moving forward. So the attorney for the insurance company for the rental car agency sued me for what they couldn't recoup from that non-driving mofo.

Next thing you know I get a warrant in the mail for my arrest for failure to show up to the hearing regarding above mentioned bullshit. Weeellllll....I NEVER GOT THAT NOTICE! I'd like to think i'm a responsible individual and I KNOW i never got served. Went to court to answer the warrant and they couldn't produce a document to show that it was sent certified. That shit changes everything...if they can't prove it was sent then damn it I 'm not paying it. The magistrate tries to scare me with wage garnishment talk...interest penalties blah blah blah and had the nerve to ask me to sign something to say I agree and will pay. HAHAHAHA! Don't they know that signing ANYTHING like that is admission of guilt and that I agree they fuggin tried to jack me right in my face???? So if they SAY a court order was sent and you dont show up, they know its an automatic judgement against you with a demand to pay in full! I brought this to Mr. magistrates attention which was immediately followed with a few stutters, and an apology to hopefully clear up this matter. Needless to say, I've been continuing this case for well over a year with interest steadily accruing, as I have NO intention of paying it. When I die, they can dig up my rotting corps, pry the teeth out of my gaping mouth and look for some fillings to sell! Fuggin criminals!

Peace and love yall!

February 8, 2009

Now Where Did I Put That Key?

Once upon a time, I found my true love. I fell for him just seconds after our lips touched. Sweet nuances of mutual adoration lingered in our mouths, eyes transfixed because we recognized each other at once. I wanted to express love for him at that moment and as soon as I began to utter the words, he said "I love you too"!

I think my soul mate is asleep in the other room, but so many things have happened in our life, I'm almost sure I missed him. In my quest to maintain control, live independently, and vow to not let anyone hurt or walk all over me, I may have taken for granted the very best in my partner. Of course these realizations only come when you're up late at night, thoughts running for miles down an uncertain road until you find yourself at the inevitable crossroad of life. Is it too late to do a one-eighty to try and smooth that thing out? I believe the love is still there, carefully wrapped in a black satin box, beneath the floor boards in the closets of our hearts. The doors seem locked and I pray we still hold the key.

February 2, 2009

A Season

This was something I wrote quite a while back. I would give anything to feel like this again!

Late Summer or was it a early fall? How could I know that you would change me forever! I know the first kiss was kinda dry but I didn't know what to expect or if you were even feeling me...but every moment since that day has been off the hook. We've shared quite a bit considering how we met and I'm honored to be in your world. Yes...your world! Simply stated...I love you...and not in a way that you should feel ashamed, concerned or alarmed. The love I have for you is out of admiration, profound respect and the notion that you accept and love me for who I am with all my flaws.
Your consistency in loving me in every capacity moves me to tears when I stop for a moment and really think about you as my friend. You motivate and encourage me without nagging or badgering and I dig it!Sexually....well shit...what can I say..yes we go in and out of shopping mode, we say its got to end but....I will admit that its not easy. All of your attributes turn me on to no end. Your classy in attitude and appearance, intelligent, sexy...you know I can go on!
There's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you if I could....im sure you know that! Funny but when I think of you I see colors...blue, white and something much brighter than light...sounds corny I know but i guess its my interpretation of your spirit or the aura that surrounds you. Well...im done telling you the obvious...anything i might have missed, i'm sure you can feel it in my kiss...and I'll never forget the season nor the reason our friendship exists!


I miss you
in between reality
and the unseen
smiles forced
daydreams while in
the mainstream
of course.
The need out weighs
the want
images of the last time
linger and
our mind
cause we found a find
like delicious wine
and plump green grapes...
a picnic arranged to escape
the choices we made
vows once obeyed
now heads in hands are laid
resting uneasy in the shade
of this thing we think is love
until the novelty wears off
the unseen fades into reality
like dusk meets dawn
we...yesterday is gone.

February 1, 2009

For The Sake Of the Children.

I never could quite grasp the concept of “staying in a relationship” for the sake of the Children. No matter how toxic the union, bitter the conversations…are two people who have outgrown one another for whatever reason, doomed to stay locked in negative co-habitation until the children say “screw you both” obligated to remain? Before my lil man came into this world, I thought…HELL NO!!! How miserable must that be? Well my son seems like the superglue holding the last shreds of what Mista and I used to be.
I think he stays not because he still loves me but because he feels I may “poison” our son against him and his staying around insures he’ll be raised correctly because there’s a man around. Ok…so I DON’T subscribe to this at all. I’m sure our son can feel the daily tension between us, the lack of affection and strained conversation. What tears my heart out is his awareness of things and his knowing little heart that makes his mouth utter a truce, demanding that we be friends.

I’ve asked Mista to leave because our misery is infectious. I have no desire to keep him away from our son, nor do I plan to poison his little mind with negative thoughts about his father. Mista is intent on staying and “working it out” but damn…at what cost?

There are times when we are friendly and civil to one another, a glimmer of hope shines through our uncertainty and we forget that we hate each other. It isn’t until our son asks for something, or discipline is in order that we have the ultimate fall out. Our ideology about raising our son and everything in between is at least sixty percent of the problem.

Right now I’m at a Super Bowl party at his mother’s house. We had a falling out before we left so he’s not speaking to me. I’m incredibly uncomfortable because it’s HIS family here and I have to put on a face. Again we are here because of my son, so he can see his other cousins and have a good time. Sucks for me! I’ve been asked…”why don’t you just leave…tell him to go” etc. I’m sure I will at some point and I think I’m just dragging my feet about it because I just don’t want to be alone.

January 31, 2009

The BoogeyMan IS Real...

... Not Hollywood's glamorous, win an Oscar for special effects type, but the boogeyman who lays dormant in the closet of your mind waiting to escape when you're vulnerable and idle. All your fears, desires, hopes etc. waiting to manifest into some story line within your dreams that you can't escape unless the alarm clock sounds, the phone rings or whatever else saves you from the labyrinth of that other world.

I've had so many dreams in full color, fantastic audio, complete with taste and smell that I really dread going to sleep most nights. My dreams are ALWAYS of the following:

Walking into a huge house (usually a dream home that i've imagined for myself while awake). What I see first is my bedroom. The bed is lofty and I have to climb about four steps to get there...king sized and sitting in front of a HUGE picture window. The rest of the house is sunny and bright but empty, sparsely furnished, walls often painted in pastels. BUT...I always hear other people in the house and can never see them...all of a sudden theres hundreds of folks outside, inside...children running around. There's always a motherly voice that tells me to hurry up and leave that place because it wouldn't be good if stayed. A bell tolls...and I wake up! I get this all the time.

Another type:

Dreaming about people who have passed away and I never knew them, only to catch the news via t.v. or someone who knew someone about this person in my dream passed away, tragic or otherwise. They sit and talk to me and when its time for me to go...they beg me to stay. What frightens me is...what if I agree to stay? Does that mean I'll die?

Another type:

Dreaming about running from the unimaginable. Horrid, ugly little things that give chase and won't stop until im caught or wake up. The urgency, panic, struggle to get away is so damn tangible. I can taste the fear. ((((brrrr))))

The Last type:

Dreaming of Tsunamis. Being consumed by water. Orbs that hover and move across the sky...some that fall. Stars that have settled on the ocean...shit like that!

Now I hope you all don't think i'm crazy...but WTF. I wonder...if you die in your sleep while dreaming..does that experience play over and over for all eternity or do the lights just go out. I know everyone has questions like that in some form or fashion. Another blogger I follow made me revisit my preoccupation with this subject so I couldn't help it...lol.

Has anyone else had recurring dreams they can't shake....or a dream of such profundity it can never be forgotten? Do tell!
Peace & Love

January 30, 2009

Much Too Cold For This!

Snow...snow go away, come again another day!!! Don't complain though, a little ice and snow isn't going to hurt you. Especially if you were born and raised in New England. I'll tell you what, its a lot better than sliding down a hill onto the highway, or getting washed out to sea. That's right people count your blessings...for every trivial complaint you make, someone else is suffering a thousand times more. I mean, doesn't another persons tragedy put your life in perspective somehow? Very few people realize that what truly makes you rich is nothing monetary at all, but having friends(even if its just one), family that love you, your health(with an exception of the occasional cold) and the blessing of being able to awaken from sleep, get out bed and stand on your own two feet is absolutely priceless? So what if it snowed last night, the roads are icy and you might be late to work...Just GET THE FUCK UP, thank whatever Deities work in your life and keep it moving!

Im not in a bad mood...just looking in the mirror and checking for self!

I really wish Mista would get off this damn Xbox and put some shelves up, clean out a closet, or just make me a sandwich...but I won't say anything 'cause i'm not into emasculation....right now..LOL. Before I left this morning he shaved his face, gave me a kiss and I just wanted to smack him. How dare he look so good, making my annoyances with him dissipate. I guess thats kind of shallow huh? "damn sweetie you're kinda cute today..." No.NO!!! "shake that shit off..square your shoulders...arch your right eyebrow...you have NOT been affected by this".

Unfortunately, I need to cut this short...lunch is around the corner and I like to hit the stores, regret my purchases and smile sweetly to myself for sneaking them into the house while behaving like these items have always been there. Well...thats unless its something for the house...and even then I really don't care...Every Friday is a "PAY ME FIRST" holiday.

Peace and Love

January 28, 2009


What is privacy anyway? There's no such thing anymore. Google maps (aka) homeland security lets you put in someones home address and via satellite you can damn near walk up on the porch and ring the bell. Oh well its the world we live in...or should I say controlled in.

Alright...I was TOO upset when Mista had the nerve to tell me with stank attitude that he read my blog. Now I know it was my fault for leaving it open but he does know that this laptop is MINE.as in "dont touch unless you ask me first". When I asked him why he read it, he said "well it was open so i just decided to check it out"...but that doesn't mean its ok to take a seat, relax and just go to it. I'm sorry but for EVERYTHING i share with Mista and lil man, I need to have something to myself, even if its several paragraphs of ranting and complaining somewhere..its MY CORNER OF THE WORLD DAMN IT!!! So I change the name slightly and told him I stopped blogging since its absolutely futile to sneak away.

Now he's on the couch while im over here sneaking a few lines in. "oh hi sweety, who me...oh nothing just looking through Craigs List"....uggghhh! "would you mind going outside and digging a ditch or SOMETHING"!!!! I'm pretty hard on Mista but several blogs later i'll reveal why.

Peace and Love

January 27, 2009

Attack Of The Little People

Today I was a chaperon at lil man's school for a field trip to the Museum of Science. He was so excited that mommy was coming to hang out. I was assigned three other children and we were sent on our way to explore all things great and wonderful! Um....NOT...please tell me how much fun can a class full of 4 year olds have at this place? There were some things they were able to get down with but every few minutes I would get the occasional "im bored".."when are we leaving"..."can we eeeeeaaatttteeee"!

I had fun but it got to be a bit of a chore 'cause my mommy thang kicked in and cleaning another kids booger face is NOT the move. Breaking up push and shove matches was challenging 'cause I just wanted to tell the other kid to "get off my boy" even though I knew damn well lil man started the whole thing. HA!

So after all the hoopla it was time for lunch, which took entirely too long. I had to take lil man to the bathroom and sneak him a bite of his granola bar. You know you can't break out food in front of the other kids...the puppy dog eyes would have had me walking like a zombie to the food court for them. Well after they were settled and eating...I had to sneak to the food court for something fried and under five dollars...all the while walking back to the spot reeeeallll slow so lil man wouldn't ask me for any. Horrible I know but he gets EVERYTHING I got...surely I can horde my box of cholesterol and ketchup.

After lunch it was a wrap. We headed back to school where lil man and I said our good-byes and hopped the train home. When I got home to check my email, i hear this low "hmmmph" behind me. Mista let me know he read my blog.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. More on THAT later.

Peace & Love

January 26, 2009

No It Didnt!!

You know...Boston is a cold, racist place. These folks don't mind giving you their ass to kiss! I'm sitting here perusing Craigs List ( I AM addicted) in the rants and raves section, mouth wide open because I still can't believe the anonymous bravado of the masses. Amazing how black folks are still viewed in the ugliest ways by folks who are seemingly kind while sitting next to you on the train but can't wait to wash the "gorilla" juice off of them 'cause you sat too damn close. I really try to keep from re-posting with the same hateful banter but I refuse to give them the stereotypical animosity they expect.
Case in point:
I was driving my big, black SUV, who my cuz has named the "Grave Digga"...with Mother, son and bff along for the ride. I'm sitting at a red light and ready to take the right on it when a pedestrian starts to cross. I decided to let him cross since it IS the law, when all of a sudden I hear someone blowing the horn behind me like a mad person. So I start to pull off when this maniacal cabby tries to rush up along the passenger side of my truck where my mother was sitting. Next thing i know theres a gush of cold air coming in the car and my mothers head is out the window like a puppy dog happy to be ridin shot gun! Next thing I hear is..
....Um yeah, I stopped right there...the words echoing in my ears along with my Mothers profanity ricocheting off the dashboard, doors and finally out the window and straight into the face of a clearly drunken old hag who hated her job and probably her whole existence. When she noticed my car screech to a halt...so did she...and i'm sure she was silently praying for the light to change. My plan was to ignore her while pissing her off further but nope...gangsta moms wasn't having it! So all the way home my mother instructs me on how to call this episode into the Boston Hackney division blah blah blah...im like "look, it was enough for her to think a bunch of heavy hittin "eggplants"(had NO idea this word was used to describe us) were gonna jump out the back and mash her, so I'll leave her lively hood alone. Again...not wanting to give into the stereotype. I must say people...its incredibly hard to keep your composure when folks come out of their mouths with that nonsense.

Anyway, Obama is all up and through the white house, in all his sexy azz swagga...its just too bad that kind of ignorance is still a beast rearing its ugly head!
Peace and love yall!

The Witching Hour...

...Or so I'm told. It's after 3am and I'm STILL up. New to this blogging thing but I've given up trying to talk to family or friends about all that concerns me. I think this is the best way to get stuff off my chest. Like...my son's father who i'll call "Mista", is up as well...playing video games...(evil side glance at his ass). "Please turn off all my damn lights...or hand me a check to pay the bill". The economy is kicking my butt (yes I know...join the club) but just speaking on my household, the shit is tight.

So...early to rise by 6am making sure my work clock doesn't stop while checking the other wrist to make sure my lil man (4 yrs going on 40) is up and out of here for school. Love him I do, but I can't wait to drop him off so I can plan my hustle for the day. I'm doing it all alone too. Mista is here but since he know "Mama Gon Work It Out" he's not as stressed. "Um Jesus please help me refrain from buying that gun I need"...lol. anyway that felt good to let go. Good Morning